every christmas i am reminded that for 18 years i believed that “i saw mommy kissing santa claus” was about the mom cheating on her husband with santa claus, instead of the dad being dressed up as santa claus and it being cute
the day steve irwin died this one kid stood at the school gate yelling the news over and over as everyone went home like… it was so important that he literally took on the role of town crier… and no one believed him…
I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. A guy asked me what the Spanish word for tortilla was once and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight
this same idiot: what kind of animal is the pink panther
me, already taking off my clothes: benjamin you’re so fucking stupid
Post like this make me so angry because this would be such a great standup bit
I don’t think I’ve ever been more viscerally angry about a Facebook recipe video. This shit burned my crops and stole my firstborn. I am absolutely appalled by this level of disrespect. I’m ready to fight.
UHM????
THIS IS FUCKING HORRIFYING IF YOU SUPPORT THIS UNFOLLOW ME IMMEDIATELY
I went through all five stages of grief watching this
it’s rly sweet ppl think I live anywhere near a target like,
i can walk into some of the shops in my town barefoot carrying my dog and nobody will tell me to leave.
target isn’t brave enough to build here.
The last bastion of hope.
yeah also it’s not illegal to ride a horse to a bar and get wrecked in lieu of a designated driver so like. we have a lot going on here.
Let’s be real though, the horse will always head back to its barn, so really this is a great idea. Get smashed, tie yourself to the horse, let the horse do whatever, and you’ll end up at home.
…..not that I’ve ever done that on a trail ride before.
Okay, so a trail horse is reliable here, because a horse that’s afraid of city noises will head for home and avoid anything “dangerous” because it’s afraid.
However, in my experience city-trained horses are much more obedient and are unafraid of roads and trust their rider a lot more fully.
So if your drunk ass says “yeah let’s steer into oncoming traffic”
the horse is gonna say “seems weird but okay man.”
Okay this is 100% a legitimate point.
The only horse you should trust as DD is a horse with a healthy fear of speeding traffic.
I would hope that that’s all horses
It is possible and common to train the good sense right out of a city horse.
Very very true.
A city horse would walk facefirst into an oncoming train if you asked it to.
This is why I prefer country horses with a degree of realization of its own mortality left to it.
What the hell kinda city has a horse
…I just love the fact that there is a distinction between country horse and city horse.
What is a city horse, what IS it
left ma and pop’s farm to make it big out there…..that horse’s gonna be a star
basically, i think the general rule of thumb is: if someone REALLY wants the blood that’s inside of your body, and they’re like… a vampire, or a dracula, or some sort of mansquito, then that’s probably okay. a dracula and a mansquito are made for removing things like blood and swords from inside your body.
that’s basically fine.
if something wants to get at your blood, and they’re, say, some kind of murdersaurus, or maybe a really big frog, that’s where the problems start to arise. a really frog is not made for removing blood, and your blood knows this, which is why it is so vehement about wanting to stay IN your body instead of coming out.
unfortunately this will not deter a really big frog, because a really big frog is full of things like prizes, and value, and quite a lot of hatred, and it would REALLY rather like to replace any and all of those things with your blood, and basically by any means possible.
These words scan with a fantastic degree of confidence considering that together they make no sense at all
